Burden

I am still, every day, absolutely humbled by people’s generosity. I have accumulated so many debts that I better find a way to deal with the obligation incurred. But how? Those people chose to help me, even though I was and remain a stranger, they decided to include me in their activities, some of them gave me time to ask them all kinds of silly questions even though they had no direct gains from this, and, God knows, they have better, and more necessary, things to do everyday. They patiently listened to my pseudo-Romanian babble, and tried hard to understand what on earth I wanted to say. They forgave my rashness and a certain note of insistence in my voice when I forgot how little importance my project held for them. They recognised much better than I did when it was time to stop working, lest I lose my sanity. They took me to the mountains, they drank tea with me. They circulated rumours about me so I should not forget certain things about people. They gave me apples, cheese, lifts, and all kinds of other things, material and otherwise. What did I give back?
Some of them are in a precarious livelihood situation, some of them have no real other option than to emigrate. I am of precious little help to them in this regard. Questions of relevance of my work arise (again).
I find it very hard to deal with the duplicity involved in social research. People do all kinds of things with all kinds of interests. Me most of all. I better put the stuff I learnt to good use and honour the friendship I was given.